I (in this moment) L O V E (with all my heart) Y O U .

Day 65

Tuesday


Fickle.

That’s the only word that fits. Children are fickle.

I walk into 1st grade A and the little munchkins are studiously seated in their desks, feigning serious work. I close the door behind me and all heads look up. Then little feet are pushing little chairs back and little legs are standing up and a little crowd is gathering around me in a mosh pit hug. Grabbing no higher than my hips the children scream “HELLO Seño!!” They say people in love have a special glow, but people who are loved have a special glow as well. I was blushing a furious red and laughing, while patting heads and giving all the children a good morning welcome. Silly new teacher me thinks that this is a good sign, they’ll want to do English today. But something occurs between the time they stop hugging me and returning to their seats that makes them oblivious to my directions, disinterested in my lesson and over active, running around the classroom. Within 20 minutes the special hug has worn off and I’m almost hoarse from yelling over them to please be quiet and color their Christmas cards quietly. And then they come up and say they don’t know what else to color or that their hand is tired of coloring. Pulling a smile out of my back pocket I instruct them to the board where I’ve drawn copious examples of winter scenes and encourage them to make their hands stronger, just try coloring softly. But within 5 minutes I know the activity has gone kaput. They’re not interested and they’re not interested in my making them interested.

By the end of the day I’ve gotten savvier to the ways of the wicked youngsters. I’m the fun teacher. I bring games and silly dances. The other teachers bring worksheets and tests. So when 3rd grade A starts to chant, “no te vayas no te vayas!” (don’t go! Don’t go!) after one of the teacher says that I will be leaving for the USA and this will be my last class, I laugh and wish they meant it in earnest (I like to think they did), but back the teacher up when she tells them to hush, no matter if I stay or go, they can’t chant all class long, they’re going to have the test today. I laugh when their chant melts away into an “awwww, no no no” admonishing the test.

And as I walk down to the train station after school I keep thinking, what have I done to earn the love of the children? And then I think, how is it that children love so quickly, so freely, so rashly and so suddenly? I stand by my assertion that children are fickle, but when they’re certain they love you, they show you.

In a show of my own, open hearted fickleness, I love you. May these words warm your hearts and may the sentiment wrap around you like the hug I send to you now!