Yes, I'm an ardent astrologist. I put more faith in my sign than a bottle of tylenol. I believe that cosmic forces are at work upon us and I'm sucker for those who dare claim they can interpret said forces. When I stumbled upon my horoscope for my last day of school, I thought, Spot On.
"It may be time to say good-bye to something that's been in your life for a very long time (too long, in fact). You're moving into an exciting new phase of life, and to make the journey all the more successful, you need to drop off some old baggage and lighten your load. Admit to yourself that you have limitations, and don't be embarrassed if you never reached that one thing you were working for. Let go of something that once inspired you, but is now only frustrating."
Farewell Los Llanos. Farewell students that never listened, that never cared, that never knew how hard I tried. Farewell to the students that loved me, that listened, that gave me hugs and hallway smiles. Farewell to the teachers who made small talk with me and my nervous spanish tongue, Farewell to the teachers who never gave me a chance. Farewell to the custodian ladies who gave me kind smiles when they kept finding me alone in the dark teacher's work room reading my books. Farewell to the secretary who still scares me. Farewell to the housekeeper man who always opened the gate for me. Farewell hot water heater who made me so many cups of tea. Farewell to the cave of a teacher's work room that hid me and my lesson planning sessions during canceled classes. Farewell to Alora and my long uphill trudge everymorning. Farewell to the men who sat and stared and watched my year go by on benches under trees. Farewell valley and farewell mountains. Farewell winds and sunshine. Farewell train station and cafe. Farewell afternoon espresso.
Farewell chapters I never taught. Farewell vocab I never had them memorize. Farewell games we played and gave up trying to play. Farewell books we read and books I tried to read to them. Farewell English as a foreign language.
Farewell to trying to make a difference. It's time to cut my losses and leave.
Maybe they'll notice the difference when I'm not there....
This is so beautiful! I am in awe of your bravery to be out in the world, far from home, living your life so deeply. And for keeping this record of your experience.
ReplyDeleteThank you thank you thank you.
And for me this piece gives me further permission to stop trying so hard..."farewell chapters I never taught."
besos xxxx