Beating The Day

Day 85

Monday

For anyone that commutes before the sun comes up, we’re of a special breed. Stealing across the countryside in the carriage of the train, eyes drowsy with sleep stare out big black windows reflecting more of the interior than revealing the exterior world. And so more often than not during my twilight commute to work I’m watching a reel of myself deciding to wake up…and winning or failing. But I will say this about commuting before the sunrise, by the time I arrive at school and the sun has come up I feel like a secret agent, with secret credibility, having sojourned through the birth of the day. And I’m ready to get the day going. Usually. Having committed to the day by getting up so early I geared to be uber productive.

But then I go to class and the teacher says that I can teach what ever I had planned, and she returns to scanning Facebook. I take a second to stare quizzically at the back of her head, wondering, “What am I doing here?” (Or rather, what is she doing here??) And all I can do is muster the energy to forge on with a lesson, more or less created ad hoc. Like a bell curve graph my level of success rises and falls between classes and within classes. You never can be sure when the climax or when the tipping point will hit.

After school I have my private classes, which I’ve come to treasure. Today it was just me and Natalia. She a bright student (reminds me of myself as a child really) (that was me being facetious) and learns English rapidly. Without the competitive arrogance of the other student (who is albeit adorable) Natalia and I sped through animals and foods and what she likes to do. It was the most productive hour of the 12 I had already been awake for.

It’s funny, as I was walking home I thought, what did I really do today? I was awake for long enough to do quite a bit…but…today I…

And I return again to Annie Dillard, “How we spend our days is of course how we spend our lives.”